If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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