We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
