I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
