i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
