she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
