ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
