what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
