Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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