do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
