we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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