Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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