who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
