I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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