lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
