your room smells of hookers.
And success
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize