so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
