So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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