Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
