1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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