She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
