I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
