she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
