I bet he comes in French.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
