Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
