so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
