do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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