No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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