Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
