There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
