i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
