We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
