he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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