highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
