I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
