Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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