Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
