Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
