Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
