What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
