the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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