I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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