Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
