I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
