Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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