what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
