A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
