i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
