loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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