do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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