I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
