Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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