Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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