you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
