'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
