Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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