I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
